Lately I’ve been paying attention to everything going on with everyone around me. Friends, colleagues, family are all going through major life events. Childhood cancer, divorce, death, changing careers, losing employment, building a business, struggling with their kids in multiple scenarios. All major life events that shape people.

I am currently sitting in a stage where my kids are healthy, my marriage is stable, my job is going fairly well, my family is overall doing well. And…I’m not taking it for granted.

Empaths feel so deeply. I’m not going to lie, I want to be right there for all of the people I know going through all these hard events. I just want to help lighten their load any way I can. I even shared with one of my very best friends how much everything is weighing on me. She said, try not to carry the weight when you are able to pray lifting everyone you care about up to God in prayer.

I appreciated her words, because I know that’s what I can do. It’s the most powerful way I can help. What I do know is when I think about Jesus and how he was with people right where they are. How He shared in their burden with them being near, being real, and offering the encouragement that each person needed.

He felt deeply, so deeply. I find connection with Jesus right now how deeply I’m feeling for all these people I care about. I’m also praying for them. Rebuking the negativity in whatever each person is experiencing right now. I am with these people even from states away.

Superwoman feels deeply. She cares. She acknowledges. She doesn’t judge. She offers advice when she feels lead to do so, but only advice she knows is coming from the Holy Spirit.

I’m 40 years old now. My outlook on life is shifting. I’m recognizing more and more what is important to me. What I truly want to strive for. Who I actually want to be.

Growing up in the throws of feminism, being an independent, I can do it all woman was what I believed I was destined to be. My personality is strongly independent anyway, so the outside forces of our culture here in the United States felt like such a win. I always wanted to climb the corporate ladder. To be on top. To make a ton of money. To prove I was enough. I was worthy. I could do anything. Thankfully, I’ve been in a scenario where I have worked for and with some excellent companies at the top of the industry I am in. I’ve also noticed, the industry is male dominated. I don’t really care how far feminism has come, women aren’t running every company and most board of directors have the token woman but that’s about the extent of their participation.

So what was sold to me that I bought in to because let’s face it…I thought I could do everything a man can do; turned out to go against everything I was designed to be.

I am realizing more and more how important it is to be home with your family. To raise your kids knowing them completely. To be not only mom, but friend. To be the safest place for them to land. Offering the softness they need, the toughness they need, the ultimate I got your back person no matter what they need.

I’m realizing the ladder is a joke. It steals time away from your family. It kills marriages. It kills the ability to do what you need to for God when you focus so much on the corporate climb.

The adage, your legacy is how you make people feel…that’s what I’m focused on.

The most impactful people in my life who are currently living and those who have passed on made me feel a certain way…

They cared, showed I was worthy of their time, listened, and exemplified characteristics of Jesus.

So what do I desire to be? Just like Jesus in His approach to everyone He encountered. Present with those I meet. Having a listening ear. Willing to show people they matter. Providing a calm energy that brings out the truth and best in everyone. Authentically myself without reservation because there is no need to impress anyone. I want to be the best I can be so people know they can too.

Noticing the growth in myself, has been a great thing but also a scary challenge to not go along with what society has brainwashed us all to be. I can’t be a full time employee, full time mom, full time housekeeper, full time spouse, full time everything to everyone. It’s literally impossible. What I can be…a full time Christian. That’s truly what I can be. I have successfully failed at all the requirements of the world, I’ve failed at being a Christian everyday too in the sense that I’ve gone along with what I wanted to do that didn’t ultimately serve the purpose for my life.

I’ve tried for years to figure myself out. Therapy, personality test, books, deeper dives into contemplative practices, journaling. I can stand true to myself knowing I’ve put in the effort to be all that I can be.

After all the searching, I finally read and journaled the book of John. I connected with who Jesus is. How He surrendered to God’s will. How the feelings He experienced were real and how they were handled. I see now more so the characteristics God has made more dominate in me. How being with people is what I am good at. Seeing people for who they are. Listening. Feeling deeply. How talking is not an issue for me. How all my talents can be used for God’s purpose for my life.

My main purpose, to let people see Jesus personality through me and who I am.

I know I’ve made so many mistakes and sins that I’m embarrassed about. All of that…it’s allowed me to connect with people I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t have made those mistakes.

I refuse to live in a bubble where I’m so comfortable that I don’t see God everywhere. Christ is everywhere. I see Him. I see love. I see how He is working. I see so much of Him in every interaction I have.

Superwoman popped the bubble. She feels deeply for those around her. Desires to protect them. To be with them in their time of need. She also recognizes her strengths that make a difference in the world around her. Superwoman can do it.